This blog isn’t intended as a personal space for the most part. Consider this post a vote of confidence that this blog will be around in some form decades from now when the promises below can be appraised.
I will
Create a safe and loving environment at home.
It is essential that my child feels that his parents and his home are always there for him. My love for him is constant, given to the best of my ability, and not dependent on anything he or I may or may not think or do. Similarly, I wish him to feel safe at home, physically as well as emotionally – safe to feel, reflect, say, and do many things I can not even imagine today, here at the beginning of this adventure.
Guide him gently and consistently towards becoming a morally conscious human being.
Morality is not natural to humans. Nor, I believe, is it optional, for the lack of all morality is in itself a morality. As a parent, it is my fortune and responsibility to guide my child in his search for, multiple, ambiguous, or certain, moral truths. I will do so by gentle yet consistent guidance and co-learning through the experiences of life.
Provide him the opportunities to grow where he shows promise.
On the one hand, I will encourage him to follow his heart and find what he likes, at any given phase in his life. On the other hand, I will give him tools that he is most likely to succeed with. Passion and ability are not independent, and I will help him find both.
I will not
Protect him from his environment.
To protect a child from their environment is to isolate them from it. I consider it a lost cause likely to cause alienation. The feeling of protectiveness and possessiveness for my child is strong in me and I will find ways to channel it constructively instead.
Live my life through him, or sacrifice my happiness for him.
This is a particularly insidious one, given my background. I will build happiness with him, and include him in all I want for myself. I can not be happy in the present through self-sacrifice and the expectations that arise from it will cause bitterness in later days.
Have expectations from him once he is an adult.
Kids take, you give. Period.
Expectations arise most where the love is strongest. I will create the distance between my desires and his independence that will let us be good friends unto the end of my days.